The Movie Archive: S
Key:
0 Stars = Horrible Crap
1 - 9 Stars = In Between, Increasing in Value
10 Stars = Brilliant! I Almost Died - It Was That Good!
Title: The Score
Year Released: 2001
Rating: R
Running Time: 123 minutes
Starring: Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando, Angela Bassett
Overview: Nick is getting out of the heist business, but not until one last heist is offered by his friend. Now, he must team up with novice Jack, pull off the heist, and then get back with his girl.
Date Watched: Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
My Opinion: Well, this movie really sucked a lot until the end half hour or so. Yeah, the end was pretty good, but up to that, you might as well take a fricking nap. (Don't tell DeNiro and Brando... they might kill me. Yeah, DeNiro kind of scares me... did you see him threaten Jimmy Fallon on SNL? That made me laugh, but yeah.) So, yeah, just fast forward to the end and it's all worth while.
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Title: Sexy Beast
Year Released: 2001
Rating: R
Running Time: 89 minutes
Starring: Ray Winstone, Ben Kingsley, Ian McShane
Overview: When Don Logan comes to town to offer a job, Gal has to decide whether to take it or not. The consequences ensue.
Date Watched: Saturday, March 16th, 2002
My Opinion: If you're turned off by cussing, stay far, far away from this movie. If you like it, welcome to your new mecca, my friends! Before I review, a note for our redneck readers: Sexy Beast is NOT, I repeat NOT, a movie about bestiality. Okay, now that's out of the way... First off, the cast was fabulous, best of being Kingsley, who was truly robbed of his Best Supporting Actor Oscar. I liked the big bunny thing because that was pretty cool... yeah, you have to see it to know what I'm talking about. As Gal's life continues, you can't help but wonder what happened to Don, but you learn slowly through flashbacks, which was a neat idea. This movie was weird from the rolling boulder to the live-in pool boy to the bunny... but weird is good.
Final Rating: 8 Stars
Title: Shrek
Year Released: 2001
Rating: PG
Running Time: 93 minutes
Voices Of: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow
Overview: A grumpy, but lovable ogre named Shrek is put in a tough spot when a midget Lord Farquaad casts hundreds of storybook characters into his swamp. He is promised his swamp back if he rescues the Princess Fiona. Traveling with his new sidekick, Donkey, Shrek saves Princess Fiona and brings her back to marry Lord Farquaad.
Date Watched: Thursday, November 22nd, 2001
My Opinion: Uh... well, I don't know. Maybe I was expecting more because it was so hyped or, well, I just don't know. I mean, I agree it was pretty funny, but it was stupidly predictable. I mean, you know when you watched the Little Mermaid that Ariel and the butt-ugly Prince were going to hook up despite all of it. Just like you know Fiona and Shrek are going to hook up. (Oops, sorry if I spoiled anything for anyone.) And that dragon that protected Fiona... yeah, that was pretty stupid. Donkey gets annoying at times and the short jokes run just a little too abundant about Lord Farquaad. It may not seem like it, but I did enjoy this movie... just not as much as I thought I would.
Final Rating: 7 Stars
Title: Skeletons in the Closet
Year Released: 2001
Rating: R
Running Time: 86 minutes
Starring: Treat Williams, Jonathan Jackson, Linda Hamilton
Overview: Ever since his son barely escaped a horrible housefire that killed his wife, Will Reid hasn't been the same. The years passed and his son grew up, but when suspicious deaths seem to appear wherever his son is, Will becomes a little more than paranoid. What ensues in a true psychological thriller.
Date Watched: Sunday, November 18th, 2001
My Opinion: Okay, just so I can get this off my chest -- is it just me or does Treat Williams look like Jeff Bridges? Am I right, people? Anyway... I think this movie is just the best. Fabulous. I have only one qualm with it -- Linda Hamilton and her character. I think the movie could have actually gone without her character entirely. Flat out -- she sucks. Let me say that the real clincher for this movie is Jonathan Jackson. I never heard of this boy, who is incredibly hot, before this movie, but he is just spectacular. He plays the part to perfection. He's gothic, he's creepy, he looks sexy when he cries. (I'm telling you... you feel for his character. Plus, you can tell he's been on soaps... he could start crying without a blink.) This movie definitely took me for a ride and kept me on the edge of my seat. You find that you start second-guessing yourself pretty much every five minutes. Is the son the killer? Is the dad the killer? Is it all coincidence? And what about those gifts? Oh, speaking of the gifts thing... That was brilliant. The writers of this movie really rock. The father gets these gifts from his son, which he suspects are off of the dead people. Of course, Jonathan's character plays this up to a humorous and morbid perfection. He sends his dad a pair of sunglasses with a note asking: "Who's are these?" and lists the names of three people his dad suspected he killed... but included a fourth option. "A new friend." Brilliant. Just friggin' brilliant. As each new layer of the family is revealed, you'll find yourself wanting more and more. As Seth said, "They say every family is a dictatorship ruled by its sickest member. The trick is figuring out who that is."
Final Rating: 9 Stars