The Movie Archive: P
Key:
0 Stars = Horrible Crap
1 - 9 Stars = In Between, Increasing in Value
10 Stars = Brilliant! I Almost Died - It Was That Good!
Title: Panic Room
Year Released: 2002
Rating: R
Running Time: 112 minutes
Starring: Jodie Foster, Forest Whitaker, Jared Leto, Dwight Yoakam, Kristen Stewart
Overview: Recent divorcee Meg finds the perfect new house with her daughter, Sarah, but the night they move in, intruders force them to the use the home's 'panic room.'
Date Watched: Friday, March 29th, 2002
My Opinion: Ah, this is for all my Fight Clubbers out there, eh? Same awesome director. So, anyway, I cruised out to the theatre because I really wanted to see this. (Ring ring. You know what that means? Time for our completely unrelated meaningless fact! Leto was born on my birthday. And that's the end of our completely unrelated meaningless fact.) Anyway, the movie doesn't spend much time prepping the movie, but that's a good thing, you see. You don't have to sleep through the first half hour! (Yay!) The movie isn't a horror movie, my dears, it's a suspense movie and good job. The theatre was on the edge of their collective seats. Fincher's shots were awesome... you have to see to believe some of the great shots he gets. It's like 'damn... I never would have thought of that...' But it's not just suspenseful... it has humorous moments. One of them: Meg and Sarah are in the panic room. Meg gets on the intercom and addresses the intruders: "Get out of my house!" Sarah: "Say fuck." Meg: "Fuck!" Sarah: "(obviously embarrassed) Get out of my fucking house." Meg: "Get out of my fucking house." (To that effect, really.) A lot of the interaction between the intruders is great too. "Who's that?" "Raoul." "Who are you?" "Raoul." Great shit. Dwight was hilarious in the movie... consistenly scary, though funny. (As he explains on Bob and Tom, Meg was the real criminal... interesting view!) Dwight's best line: "Why didn't we think of that?!" My problems: the way, way predictable ending and the dad. Otherwise, worth it.
Final Rating: 9 Stars
Title: Pearl Harbor
Year Released: 2001
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 183 minutes
Starring: Ben Affleck, Josh Harnett, Kate Beckinsdale
Overview: A loosely based story on the event that happened December 7th, 1941.
Date Watched: Tuesday, December 25th, 2001
My Opinion: Grr, what a frustrating and long piece of crap. It wasn't even worth getting off the couch to put in the second tape. A vast majority of the movie is the macho, testerone, I'm-a-tough-fly-boy crap between Ben and Josh. Let it go, dudes. And, man, I don't care if you think your friend is dead... until you see a body, you don't bang his girlfriend, all right, Joshie-poo? If you filtered the fly-boy crap and the irritating love triangle, you would be left with the best part of the movie -- the actual attack scene and the parts where the Japanese are planning the attack. (Hey, that Japanese leader had some wise stuff to say. When someone told him that his plan proved he was a wise man, he replies: "A wise man would find a way to not make war" or something like that. Mm-hmm!) The attack scene was surreal... kind of like the first scene in "Saving Private Ryan" (which is SUCH a great movie!) The American flag underwater painted a surreal scene, as did the franatic hospital scenes. Yeah, but if you want to see Josh in a war film... wait for the "Black Hawk Down." I hear that's actually good.
Final Rating: 4 Stars
Title: Planet of the Apes
Year Released: 2001
Rating: R
Running Time: 119 minutes
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter
Overview: A remake of the 60s classic B-movie in which an astronaut lands on a planet ruled by apes.
Date Watched: Saturday, December 1st, 2001
My Opinion: Um, well... I liked it. I've never seen the original, but I enjoyed this one. The highlight of this movie was definitely Tim Roth, who was spectacular as the General Thade, an ape with extreme hatred of humans. A guest role by Charlton Heston as an ape was also pretty notable. I have some qualms with it... Mark Wahlberg and Helena Bonham Carter and Estella Warren... a sick little love triangle. Why is Mark jonesin' for an ape when Estella is obviously jonesin' for him? I guess it's one of those moral "appearances" blah-blah-blah. Let's get back to reality. I have to say, I guessed the ending before it came, which was kind of disappointing. I'm too damn smart for my own good! Overall, a pretty good watch. One of the best B-movies out there. Um, I guess that's it, really.
Final Rating: 7.5 Stars