The Movie Archive: I
Key:
0 Stars = Horrible Crap
1 - 9 Stars = In Between, Increasing in Value
10 Stars = Brilliant! I Almost Died - It Was That Good!
Title: The Item
Year Released: 2001
Rating: R
Running Time: 95 minutes
Starring: Dawn Marie Velasquez, Dan Clark, Dave Pressler, Dan Lake, Ron Fitzgerald
Overview: Four ex-con friends meet a freaky scientist and buy a strange creature from him to sell to an anonymous buyer. When their curiousity gets the better of them, all Hell breaks loose.
Date Watched: Thursday, November 22nd, 2001
My Opinion: Well, who am I to judge this movie? Sundance loved it. I liked it... sort of. When I saw the previews for it, I thought: "I have no idea what this movie is about." And let me tell you... after watching it... I still have no idea. Okay, so maybe my idea is a LITTLE better, but not by much. The movie starts with this scientist, who is quite eccentric and probably one of the best characters in the movie, and he, unwillingly, gives up his new creation, which is some weird... thing. Four convict friends take it back to one of the con's girlfriend's house and the fun continues. The girlfriend's friends show up and see the... thing. They all were killed by the convicts for that one. (But there was some serious kung-fu before the one in green croaked.) Now, get this... the little creature thing can talk. And, oh boy, is it ever a master manipulator. Kind of like the convict's fearless leader, Alex, who is brilliantly played. Alex was a shining light in the movie... not quite sane, not quite crazy. I was following the movie... much to my distaste because it was getting majorly gory... up until the end. Let's just say: there was some sex with the creature, which had a convenient penis-like tail, a gunshot, then a pounding on the door. I have to say, this left me majorly confused. Who got shot? And who was pounding on the door? Was it the art student? The buyer? The creature? One of the cons? I mean, damn, give me something here! Overall, kind of messy movie.
Final Rating: 3 Stars