The Hole Conspiracy
See, it's funny because it sounds like "whole" but it's really "hole"... get it? Ah, never mind.
It all started a week or two ago. My best friend, who asked to remain anonymous because of the serious subject matter contained here, and I were walking to her house. It was a sunny weekday after school. It seemed like any other day, but we were wrong. This is when we discovered a new government (or foot harvesting) conspiracy. We discovered the Hole Conspiracy.
As we were walking, I jumped over a ditch, thinking I would land on the earth. But I was wrong... oh, was I wrong! My right foot hit the earth, but my left foot went farther than I expected -- into a hole! We expected this to be an isolated incident and went on, avoiding that hole every day, but the horror continued. As the days went on, more and more holes began appearing. Unsuspecting, we kept almost losing our feet into them. Everywhere, everytime... we could not escape. My friend almost lost her foot, but, thankfully, I was there to save her. Others are not so lucky... so we suspect. We would check the funeral pages, but families and friends are brainwashed so they never believe the missing person has been killed or even existed. Employers and employees are not brainwashed because they never notice anyone outside their cubicle anyway.
So the next time you're walking across your yard, look at any earth that seems sunken. Document it and send it to us. We'll get the Hole Truth and bring the Hole Conspiracy to an end! Stop the foot harvesting, if it's by the government or by just plain foot harvesters. And that's the Hole Truth, brought to you by the Hole Team who's here to protect your Hole Existence.
Pretend You Know Nothing!